If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
farters have to be the big spoon...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Sorry about my life...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
