this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
