just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
we're so committed to being not committed
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
