I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
