Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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