mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
