Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize