I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize