Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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