Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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