I'm lost and stupid without you.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
