one might say we're banned from that church
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
