and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
