o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
