that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My bed smells like the plague
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