I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
