i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Will exercising make me less horny?
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