there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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