My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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