I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
