He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
