cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
