the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
