im having a threesome with these popsicles
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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