I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's no shave November. This is our time.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
