Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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