Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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