I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
