I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
