Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
she looked like the before picture.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
