I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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