omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
