To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Buhtt sex?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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