I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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