So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
