I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
