Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize