I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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