Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
