No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
