She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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