I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
