I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
