Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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