arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize