I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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