did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
