I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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