Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
