Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
