After last night, I could never be a politician.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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