yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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