wat bout pragnant strippers??
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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