Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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