Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
