i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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