My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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