I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
