Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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