Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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