those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
