the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
