your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think my vagina is haunted
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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