You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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