You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
